Opinions

I have often wondered why it is that we ask people of their opinions but never take the advice given?? or RUN right in the wrong direction in a stance to show that we are smarter and know better than those that truly care for us and our well being. Early on in my life I have experienced and witnessed friends and family do such things and always ended up worse off for it. I would have to say that probably the most traumatic experience happened when I was 20, my best friend at the time asked for my advice about the relationship she was in. Without going into all the details it came down to staying for the other persons well being or leaving and being happy. She chose to stay. It broke my heart, cause I knew the heartache she would go through. She would always be controlled by the other persons well being above her own. I prayed and prayed and prayed until I couldn't pray about it anymore. I left it in Gods hands and the next thing I knew they were married. Again, I was heartbroken. I loved my friend with all my heart and only wanted the best for her. I couldn't understand how she couldn't SEE what I saw, how she couldn't understand I only had her best interest at heart, and never wanted to see her get hurt. I recently had a revelation about this and how I have repressed it, but how it has effected me and my relationships with other friends. And even more recently I learned that her marriage ended. My heart aches for her and her family. But that was the first time I really learned and understood that for all my caring and praying it wasn't enough and I thought it should have been. I didn't have all the right answers but at least I knew enough to say "this is not a good situation and you need to leave." Which leads me to my original question, "Why do we ask for advice that we really don't want?" Is it because we are looking for that one person who will agree with us so we can move forward without guilt? If that's what it is then I'm not sure I will ever be a "good" friend when it comes to asking my advice and it doesn't agree with what you want to do. I will stand by and be your support even if I don't support your choice. That is a hard thing for me to do and I have not been able to do that very well. But I have seen so many people I truly care about make choices and life decisions based on loneliness, or "there is no one else", or "this is the best I can do". It's all lies!! They don't believe it anymore than I do, but they are too afraid to admit it to themselves and so they settle instead of holding out for GOD, and his great plan!! We've all been lonely, or desperate for affection, or feel like it's never gonna happen. Sometimes it doesn't, but that doesn't give us the permission to settle for the 1st person that comes along that makes us feel special. Relationships are not to fill empty holes we might have, or make our lives easier, healthy relationships happen when we are happy with ourselves, our lives and in spite of any holes we or the other person may have. As my friend found out she was not enough to fill the holes her spouse had, or enough to make him truly happy. But because the fear of losing someone and being alone clouded their judgment they both ended up worse off than if they had just ended it all those years ago.

9 Months and so CUTE!!

My little Sammy Boy is 9 months old now! It is hard to believe how fast the time has gone by. It's even harder to believe that in just 3 months he will be 1 yr old!! Sammy is quite the happy little boy, he LOVES his big sisters. And they love playing with him, especially Cameron. She is always loving on him. I think those 2 are gonna be pretty close as they grow up. He has 4 teeth and 4 more coming in, he isn't to fussy about it but a little bit. He crawls all over the house, and can pull himself to stand. He hasn't quite figured out how to "walk" along the couch yet. I'm in no hurry to have him walking, he is busy enough and moves quickly as it is. He loves bath time, and tries to climb in the tub when the girls are in the shower. I have also caught him trying to climb into the toilet. So now, the bathroom is OFF limits.

He is quite the Mama's boy right now, he ONLY wants Mom most of the time. He is just a joy to have around, he laughs great big belly laughs, he giggles and squirms when you touch his neck. He is quite ticklish just like his dad. Every new month is full of great new things. I can't wait to see what this next month will bring.

The Birth of Samuel

I am home from the hospital and will now recount the experience of giving birth to my 4th and final child. The morning started out "normal" but after I showered and was getting dressed and talking to Miles I felt a trickle of fluid run down my leg. Now I knew I hadn't peed so my first thought was "oh no, my water is about to break". We'll Miles left to work and it kept happening throughout the morning so I called my friend Jenee and asked her if she would take me to the hospital to get it checked out since I had already called my OB and that is what he asked me to do.

We get to the hospital and I get put it in a room for monitoring. I'm still not having any real contractions just light ones. Well, Jenee has to leave and so Miles comes in to take her place, by this time they have told me I am not leaking amniotic fluid. So I am then discharged and go home. So I went about my day as usual, but by late afternoon something wasn't right. I didn't know what, I just knew something wasn't right. I hadn't felt Sammy move very much that day and by this time I couldn't remember when the last time was that I had felt him move. And he was a mover. So I did all the things I had learned with my previous pregnancies when you don't feel baby move. I drank a big glass of cold juice, and laid on my side for 30 min. I finally felt him move but it wasn't very strong. I felt it again a little later but still not very strong. I was beginning to worry and so I called Miles. He just told me if you think something is wrong go in and call me when you get there. Well I waited until about 10pm then I told Miles ok, we gotta go something isn't right. So I called my friend Jenee and she and her daughter came to my house to spend the night with my girls. We headed to the hospital and small contractions began, before I knew it I was in the jaccuzzi tub laboring away. I'm not sure how much time passed, it seemed like forever but I was finally at an 8 then it took an hour of horrible contractions to get from 8-10cm. I have never had contractions so strong and painful before, maybe it's age or maybe the size of my son but they were horrible! I just kept squeezing Miles arm with every contraction, I later found out I was grabbing the same spot each time and he had bruises afterward. It was finally time to push and boy was I ready! I wanted this kid out! 3 strong pushes and he was out! His head and shoulders were the same measurement. No wonder I felt like I was being tortured. My water broke after he came out, his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and his whole body, which is probably why he was having a hard time moving. He was a bit purple but not enough to alarm the nurses or OB. Miles said he looked like a christmas tree with lights (umbilical cord) wrapped all around him. The nurse placed him on my chest skin to skin and I was in love! He was the cutest purple baby ever! I was just elated to see him finally, he weighed 9lbs 4oz, and was 21.5 inches long. Apparently I grow big babies, although Cameron was my biggest at 9lb 7oz. She beat her little brother by 3oz.

I am happy to have him here with me, I truly feel that if I had not gone in when I did and had them strip my membrane to get labor started Samuel might not be here. With his lack of movement and then finding out his umbilical cord was around his neck, it could have ended badly. But thanks be to God for giving me my little strong baby boy that I have waited so long for.

Less than 2 weeks!!

So I am now 38 weeks and 3 days. My due date is still October 29, and that date is fast approaching, though this child doesn't seem to care. I think he really likes it in my belly. Not much progress in the way of going in to labor just yet, but small subtle hints are always around. I have enjoyed this pregnancy this most, maybe because it's my last time. What I have not enjoyed is all the pain and discomfort, lack of sleep and being tired all the time. =) Some days I feel like I am too old to be doing this again to myself, my body is more sore this time around. The girls are starting to get excited that their little brother will be coming soon, they are always feeling my belly to find out where he is or to feel him kick. Cameron and Alison like to hug my belly the most. I definitely have the waddle walk now, no matter how hard I try to walk straight it doesn't happen. My next OB check up is in 3 days and so we shall see then what is going on.

I just celebrated my 33rd birthday a little over a week ago, I have to say that I think it was the best one to date. Life is so much fuller when you are surrounded by amazing friends!! I have been so blessed with great friends and AWESOME parents!! I don't know what I would without them.

I can't wait for this little guy to get here, I just want to meet him already. BUT I am also happy to wait for him to come in his own time. No need to rush the pain of labor and delivery. =)

First day of Kindergarten!

Today was Alison's first day of Kindergarten. I remember when we were taking Savannah to her first day of Kindergarten and now here we are 5 years later and it's Alison's turn. We packed her lunch and picked out her clothes last night, she was quite excited about that. She did however have a hard time getting to sleep last night, but thankfully this morning she was not grumpy. She had breakfast and Miles and I and Alison headed out to take her to school. She was a little apprehensive and wringing her hands as she walked toward the school with her dad. In her class she grabbed her name tag and found her seat and had a page to color while the waited for all the kids to arrive. I think every parent that was dropping their child off had a camera in hand. One Mom said "I guess you can tell it's the Kindergarten class". After we got all our pictures we asked Alison if she was ready for us to leave, she thought a moment and said "yeah, I'm ok now" so with hugs and kisses we walked out the door and when we looked back, Alison did not, she just kept coloring. Little Miss Independent. =)

When I picked her up after school today and asked her how her day was, she said it was good and that she had fun. I asked her if she wanted to go again tomorrow and she said with a big smile YEP! I'm so glad her first day went well, aside from being pushed and hit by some little boy in her class.

Camping at Wallowa Lake

We decided on a last minute camping trip and it turned out FABULOUS!! We invited my parents, and Jenee and her parents, and we brought the dogs. Since it was so last minute our spots were limited but not to shabby. We ended up in and RV park right behind a go-kart race track, it was noisy until about 9 or 10 but we survived. I however did not survive the night so well. Being pregnant and sleeping on the ground even with a cushy mat didn't help. I woke up around 2 am and headed for the car, I slept in the car until the sun came up. It was only slightly more comfortable.

Sabbath we decided to take a tram ride and go for a hike to what we now call "chipmunk heaven". Jenee bought some chipmunk food and then a little boy gave us his bag before he left. We got to the top of this hill and there were just gluttonous chipmunks everywhere, it was GREAT! The girls had a great time feeding them and trying to get them to climb on their lap or eat out of their hand by sitting very still. It was beautiful up there, there were still a few spots that had snow and so some of the trail was inaccessible. It was great weather, and sunny and we enjoyed so much of Gods creation right up on that hill. Later in the day we went to the lake and rented 2 paddle boats and Jenee and Miles took the girls out for a ride.

Savannah's Party

Savannah wanted a water slide for her birthday party so I searched and found one. It turned out to be the perfect day for one too. It was HOT! Savannah spent the day with her friends and cousins going down the 16ft water slide. I enjoyed visiting with our guests and eating yummy food! It turned out to be a great day not only for all the fun we had but in celebrating Savannah's 8 years with us! She is such a special little girl, she is so thoughtful, and helpful. She has one of the biggest tender hearts I know. I can't wait to see what the next 8 yrs bring us with Savannah.