Opinions

I have often wondered why it is that we ask people of their opinions but never take the advice given?? or RUN right in the wrong direction in a stance to show that we are smarter and know better than those that truly care for us and our well being. Early on in my life I have experienced and witnessed friends and family do such things and always ended up worse off for it. I would have to say that probably the most traumatic experience happened when I was 20, my best friend at the time asked for my advice about the relationship she was in. Without going into all the details it came down to staying for the other persons well being or leaving and being happy. She chose to stay. It broke my heart, cause I knew the heartache she would go through. She would always be controlled by the other persons well being above her own. I prayed and prayed and prayed until I couldn't pray about it anymore. I left it in Gods hands and the next thing I knew they were married. Again, I was heartbroken. I loved my friend with all my heart and only wanted the best for her. I couldn't understand how she couldn't SEE what I saw, how she couldn't understand I only had her best interest at heart, and never wanted to see her get hurt. I recently had a revelation about this and how I have repressed it, but how it has effected me and my relationships with other friends. And even more recently I learned that her marriage ended. My heart aches for her and her family. But that was the first time I really learned and understood that for all my caring and praying it wasn't enough and I thought it should have been. I didn't have all the right answers but at least I knew enough to say "this is not a good situation and you need to leave." Which leads me to my original question, "Why do we ask for advice that we really don't want?" Is it because we are looking for that one person who will agree with us so we can move forward without guilt? If that's what it is then I'm not sure I will ever be a "good" friend when it comes to asking my advice and it doesn't agree with what you want to do. I will stand by and be your support even if I don't support your choice. That is a hard thing for me to do and I have not been able to do that very well. But I have seen so many people I truly care about make choices and life decisions based on loneliness, or "there is no one else", or "this is the best I can do". It's all lies!! They don't believe it anymore than I do, but they are too afraid to admit it to themselves and so they settle instead of holding out for GOD, and his great plan!! We've all been lonely, or desperate for affection, or feel like it's never gonna happen. Sometimes it doesn't, but that doesn't give us the permission to settle for the 1st person that comes along that makes us feel special. Relationships are not to fill empty holes we might have, or make our lives easier, healthy relationships happen when we are happy with ourselves, our lives and in spite of any holes we or the other person may have. As my friend found out she was not enough to fill the holes her spouse had, or enough to make him truly happy. But because the fear of losing someone and being alone clouded their judgment they both ended up worse off than if they had just ended it all those years ago.